me looking back on how i self destructed: she really did that!
me: *gets mad at self for doing disordered things but continues to do them*
i wish i could starve for you.
i wish i could move the hunger
from where it sits,
settled between your hips
and hold it until i became hollow,
and you, happy.i would sew my lips shut
to save you from the calories
you cry about at night,
they crawl into the seams of your jeans,
seep into the stitching of your shirts,
make you try to shake yourself
out of your own skin.i have put myself through hell
to halve the size of my thighs,
but i’d do it all again
if it meant you’d feel alright.
